Transcript

I am a threat. I am 5’2” and weigh less than one hundred pounds. Never touched a gun in my life. No martial arts training whatsoever.

I am not sure I would survive in a fight with a Pomeranian.

But yes, I am a threat. My very existence and identity are a threat to large men with lots of money who run repressive governments, even more so now that I have the power to represent and speak up for people like me. People like you.

Many of us—including many of you listening right now—refrain from living our lives as our authentic selves to avoid being perceived as a threat to others. We follow the rules, as if we’re adhering to an instruction manual, so that we can stay safe. When those in power are threatened, we are the ones who pay the ultimate price. So we feel compelled to confine ourselves to a lifetime of loneliness, accepting that we can’t love or be loved because of who we are.

I found I couldn’t live like that, so I had to express myself in a way that wouldn’t put fear in the hearts of corrupt and powerful men. I turned to music, art, spoken word, and even comedy.

What drew me to comedy in particular was that it comes with an escape hatch. If I were caught saying the wrong thing, and if my truth and genuine self were exposed, I could always dismiss it as a joke. Just a stupid joke. I didn’t mean it, really! I could speak my truth, without risking my life. Comedy was—and, to some extent, continues to be—my safe space.

It was one survival mechanism. I am sure many of you have developed your own under similar circumstances. Maybe you blare classic metal in your car when no one’s looking, or maybe you’ve taken a stab at writing fanfiction. At least your favorite characters can live the life you want for yourself.

The thing is, when you see others die simply for being their authentic selves, it gets harder and harder to live with these barriers. Even the most cathartic survival mechanisms can’t help you shake the pain, fear, and rage. At some point you have to expand your tolerance of fear, because your authentic self is thrashing around restlessly, craving freedom from these burdens.

To those whose authentic self is thrashing around right now: I see you. And I know the fear inside your heart, because I felt it too. In fact, I still feel it. I am not going to tell you to do anything that would risk your life, but here is what I want from you: never let go of your authentic self, even if it must be in hiding for now. Protect it like a lit match in the wind. Don’t let fear blow it out. Because being your authentic self doesn’t just give you back your voice. It inspires others to speak their truth as well. The more authentic you are, the more you resonate with others. The more trust you build. The more you collaborate to generate a different kind of future, a future in which none of us will ever again tremble at the thought of being queer, or fighting for justice, or supporting the most marginalized communities in our countries through their struggle for dignity and freedom.

And just like that, your mere existence becomes something powerful. More powerful, even, than guns or fists of fury.

The internet has given people like me, and some of you who are listening right now, a seemingly limitless forum to express ourselves and fight for the future we know we can achieve.

It doesn’t come without its major challenges, such as continuous censorship and widespread surveillance. But that’s why we must build our own safe spaces to share our stories and collaborate, even though (or perhaps, especially because) those repressive governments I mentioned have thrown everything they have at us to stop that from happening.

We need to invest in technology that protects expression in a landscape cluttered with corrupt corporate models that place power and profit above integrity and accessibility. By expression, I mean music, art, spoken word, poetry, and so much more. These are the key to preserving cultural identity and our authentic selves. Persistence and adaptability are key. Many efforts will only see an impact years from now. We can’t give up simply because we are not getting immediate results. Resist the temptation to assume that if it doesn’t go viral, it failed. Resist the temptation to rely on meaningless metrics, such as “clicks” and “likes,” without action, to justify our efforts. A single life saved is worth infinitely more, even if hardly anyone hears about it. 

Repressive governments, and even self-proclaimed allies who are motivated by their own greed and influence, are putting obstacles in front of us. But these are mere distractions—sometimes terrifying ones. My friends, social justice is not a weekend project. It's a lifelong commitment to continuously challenge the power dynamics that, to this day, prevent us from living organically or even existing without judgement, persecution, or punishment. Choosing between a lifetime of loneliness, and a lifetime of fighting for my truth, it’s a no-brainer.

If you’re feeling trapped in a similarly stifling life, and to you who empathize with their plight: join me, however you can. Let’s all keep our matches burning, so, together, our little flames can become a raging fire.

“Never let go of your authentic self, even if it must be in hiding for now. Protect it like a lit match in the wind. Don’t let fear blow it out.”

Blending frankness and wit, Esra’a Al Shafei speaks out against state-led repression of speech and expression. She chronicles the survival mechanisms—art, spoken word, music, comedy—that she regularly uses to critique and change her circumstances. Al Shafei powerfully affirms the need to live as one’s authentic self, as a leader who lights the way for others to do the same.

Esra'a Al Shafei is a Bahraini human rights activist and founder of Majal.org, a network of digital platforms that amplify under-reported and marginalized voices in the Middle East and North Africa (MENA). This work includes Mideast Tunes, a web and mobile application for independent musicians in the MENA who use music as a tool for social justice advocacy; Ahwaa.org, a discussion tool for Arab LGBTQ+ youth which leverages game mechanics to protect and engage its community; and Migrant-Rights.org, the primary resource on the plight of migrant workers in the Gulf region.

Esra’a was a 2011 Senior TED Fellow, Echoing Green Fellow, and Shuttleworth Foundation Fellow. In 2017, she was elected to the Board of Trustees at the Wikimedia Foundation, the non-profit which hosts Wikipedia. Previously, she served on the Board of Directors of Access Now, an international non-profit dedicated to an open and free Internet.

Esra’a is the recipient of the Berkman Award from the Berkman Center for Internet and Society for "outstanding contributions to the Internet and its impact on society over the last decade"; the Monaco Media Prize, which acknowledges innovative uses of media for the betterment of humanity; and the Most Courageous Media award from Free Press Unlimited. In 2014, she received the Human Rights Tulip Prize, awarded annually to organizations or individuals that support human rights in innovative ways. She is the 2018 recipient of the Global Trailblazer Award from Vital Voices. In 2019, she was selected as a Young Global Leader by the World Economic Forum and as a Young Leader by Asia Society.

ASL Interpretation